i felt like writing.
July 17, 2006 | 11:48 PM
曲：純恋歌 – 湘南乃風
急に書きたいと思ったから。
i felt like writing. i dont know why, but perhaps life has been one event after another these few months that i havent really been able to find time for myself. July 17th. 2006. i cnt really remember what has been happening from 2003 onwards, but somehow i feel i have grown up a lot.
i did something i did not mean to do today. i was reading simin's blog and andy's, and it just came naturally to click on his. i dont know why, but suddenly i felt the urge to want to know how he was like 3 years ago. and so i did. click on his archives, i mean. i laughed, actually. somehow i learnt more about him in that one sitting at the computer than i ever could now. the anger left me at that moment. it brought me back to that time on the bus back from kampar and i just listened to him talk. never in my life have i felt so protected, so loved, and so happy just listening to someone talk. i guess that was what broke that anger. disappointment in him, yes, but anger, no. he's not who he was 3 years ago, of course, yet it did help me.
i guess i have been so caught up in my own troubles that i lost track of the people who have probably influenced me more than i have ever been. sharon's resigned from the hotel, and i wasnt there for her when she made that decision. it was her that brought me out of everything with ah kent, and she who stood by me all the time. im sorry, girl.
i wouldnt be who i am today if everything that happened didnt happen the way it did. yet i dont think ive reached a point where i could rest yet. because more is to come, yet, somehow, i feel this peace inside me that tells me ill get through all this.
velda.
